How To Recapture Our Sweet Mom Moments Gone Forever
(Inside: For moms who feel sad over how fast their kids grow.)
A sad thought enveloped me as I kissed my third-grader’s cheek: I can’t remember the last time my oldest son let kiss me his lips. At some point, he offered his cheek instead and that’s how it has been ever since.
I also can’t remember the last time my middle son asked me to snuggle with him to help him fall asleep. He used to ask me every night, then it became more sporadic until he stopped asking. The last time came and went and I didn’t realize it was over.
Then, there’s my baby, my youngest son. I can’t remember the last time I held him all balled up on my chest. At some point, he grew too big and stretched out his legs and that moment was over. I didn’t even know to savor the last moment.
I hate how fast time moves.
Hours, days, months, years…they quickly are gone forever. My heart holds a lingering sadness for how fast my kids grow and the sweet moments that I didn’t even realize were the last time slip through my fingers.
But who wants to remember pushing your toddler on the swings, sending your oldest to kindergarten, or the toothy grins and feel sad?
I’d like the remember those moments with more happiness than reminders of the Amtrak going warp speed we’re all on…
So, I search my thoughts. I pick them up and peer underneath and around…
…because I’m looking…
…for how to not be sad about passing time.
Searching for Perspective
I ask myself, of all my dreams, what’s one of the biggest? With no hesitation, my brain answers: to be a mom.
Yet, to fully experience my dream – to fully experience what the broad sense of the word “mom” means – I have to experience every aspect of it: the joy and the pain. It makes sense, without the fear, we can’t experience the courage. Loss highlights what we have. The top is made more beautiful by the difficult climb. So, to fully experience and understand motherhood, I have to experience it in its entirety.
As I continue my search for perspective, my head tells my heart that what I really long for is not that my kids stay little forever, but is that the love and beautiful connection we share last forever.
Which it can…
Of course, it can.
Finding My Answer
Because I still have those sweet moments with my boys that connect us…they’re just different.
My oldest sauntering into the kitchen with a slightly puffed out chest and pride on his face the first time he put on his full football gear. He lingered near for me to notice and declare how big and strong he looked.
- Photo by Stephen Baker on Unsplash
My middle son wakes before his brothers, sneaks downstairs and asks me to play Clue with him.
My youngest runs to me bursting with excitement to proudly show me the frog wriggling in his hands.
The precious moments still exist. The connection and love are still there…they’ve just grown up with my children. So, the sweet mom moments are never really gone. I look forward to how my heart will fill when I see my sons in suits ready for prom. Or the joy of a son securing his first job. Then they’ll be the amazing moment of seeing my boy holding his own child. Those future moments will give me all the mom-feels I experienced the first time one of my babies nestled in the curve of my arms.
Sweet mom moments don't disappear with passing time, they just grow and change as our children do. Click To Tweet
And I know – the present I am in, the elementary school kids, the book fairs, the youth sports, the grilled cheese sandwiches and Nerf Guns – I will someday look back and miss them. I’ll be able to see when I’m outside of this current phase of chaotic, busyness…how precious the moments I’m experiencing right now were.
Mommas – we are always immersed the life-changing, amazing mom-moments… in our past, right now and will be in the future. The sweet mom moments were never lost…
…and never will be.
Yes, I want empowerment in my inbox!
- Photo by Julie Johnson on Unsplash
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Cheryl is a mom of 3 boys, wife, speaker, high school teacher, and author of Empowered Moms & Kids. She has a Master’s degree in Educational Leadership and is passionate about learning and teaching. On www.empoweredmomsandkids.com you’ll find inspiration and encouragement for moms raising tweens and/or teens. Read more in the “about” section of this page.
I read a similar post recently. Somehow I haven't let it get to me though. Maybe because I'm just really getting into the toddler stage, though I know these times will be fleeting, too.
I don't remember the lasts, I do remember the nows. I cherish and revel in snuggling on the couch with Baby Boy, the way he sleeps so soundly in my lap, how he rubs my back just because, and especially the way we snuggle at bedtime.
And, to me, those times are just what you're highlighting. There are moments, they've just grown as has Baby Boy.
Beautiful, Cheryl!
Have you ever read the children's book "Let me Hold you Longer" by Karen Kingsbury? It's all about savoring those 'lasts' as our children grow up. I have it if you ever want to borrow it……we love it!
Kati Revak
Kati, I haven't heard of it, but you have me intrigued. Sounds like something our family would enjoy as well. I will look for it on amazon. 🙂 THANK YOU
Thanks!
It really started bothering me in the past few years, with my youngest. I guess I am more emotional because he is our last baby and I am not sure I am ready for my kids to be a little more grown up. But, I like hearing women say this doesn't bother them. I need to hear people say they can focus on the now. It really is what I should do and when I hear that others successfully do this, I am also better able to be in the present and not cling so much to the past. I enjoyed reading your thoughts. Thanks for leaving them!:)
This post brought tears to my eyes. For a few a reasons, I always think about this with my toddler son. He is growing so fast. Also, this post can apply to family members too. My dad went into the hospital for the past few days. He was in bad pain last Wednesday and he is healthy. He just got out of hospital today. I'm very close to my parents and my mom and dad are very close to each other. My dad is okay now, but life passes by so fast. I call my parents non-stop now. Just to hear their voice. I'm going to see them tomorrow. I keep hugging and loving on my husband and son. Great post. It's so true… time, memories, ….love what's in front of you now. ❤️ xoxo
That's one of the great things about today's world, about blogging. That I get to read/hear from others things that I need or want to know, therefore making me a bit less anxious/worried/wondering/alone. 🙂
Your post reveals the deep love you have for your children–and the realization that they are growing up. My most recent change came with my youngest son being married. This has been tempered with the days I spend with grandchildren. God blesses us with seasons of life.
Beautiful and holds so much truth to it. Motherhood is an experience unlike any other, and to get its full effect, we all have to embrace every facet of it. I love how the connections with your sons evolve through the years. Part of me thinks its bittersweet to watch my daughter grow so fast, but your post made me realize that her growth just means we share more and more connections together. The love of a mother never wanes, it just changes with her children as time goes on. Thank you for sharing this beautiful sentiment.
Cheryl, thank you for these words! I've got a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old, and sometimes I secretly wish to be down the road where I don't face nightly wakings, perpetual 6am screaming alarm clocks and rears that can be wiped themselves. But you are so right, there are so many precious moments in these years and once they're over they're gone. I want to soak up the precious moments that every stage holds so that as they grow I know I didn't miss out.
Thank you for your encouraging words!
Having a parent in the hospital is so tough – I am so glad your dad is feeling better now. And,I love what you said about "love what's in front of you now." Have a good week, my friend!:)
I love watching my parents with my kiddos. Being a grandparent – what a fun season. And congrats on your son being married!:) Thanks for leaving your thoughts on my blog. I enjoyed reading them.
Your thoughts encouraged my heart. I love: "The love of a mother never wanes, it just changes with her children as time goes on." Thank you!
Yes, soak them up! It is an exhausting and demanding time in motherhood, but beautiful. THANK YOU for leaving a comment!:)
Agree! 🙂
Beautiful!!! I too have feelings like this. Feelings of moments lost. Feelings of why didn't I know that was the last time….Great post!
Thank you! And thanks for leaving a comment.:)
What a wonderful post. I am a grandmother now and I still have 3 children at home ages 19, 9 and 7. Cherish every single moment that you can, because they fly by so fast. Now I get to hug and cuddle our little grandies. Thanks for sharing this at Good Morning Mondays. Blessings
This post made me teary. It's been a rough week, my preschooler started attending school and it's been a tough transition, for her…and for me. I miss her all the time…and I realized how fast she has grown. She's becoming more and more independent. It's silly how I used to want her to be independent and grow up..not that she's done it, I really want to rewind time back 🙁 I'm expecting my second child, and one thing I know for sure is that I want to savour every single minute…and stop wishing for her to grow up..thanks for your post, loved it!
Following on Fb
http://angiebenju.blogspot.com/
Similar to my experience which is why I now try to live in the moment as much as possible and not worry about the past or the future
Beautiful words and beautiful reminder to cherish our children. They won't be under our care forever… Thanks for sharing this on the Art of Home-Making Mondays!
Thanks for letting me share!
I hear you! I just checked out your page. Love it. I am now following you back!:)
Thanks for letting me share!:) And for your lovely words!
Love it. Thanks for the comment!
Oh goodness! I don't even want to think about how quickly time is passing!
I know! I shouldn't have mentioned it!:)
Great post! And soo very true!
Being a mom of two grown girls.. one even married.. lost moments are sad, but thanfully God blesses us with new days and new chances!!
I love this! It's truth! Cherish every moment. Thanks so much for linking this at CMB.
Thanks for letting me link up!:)
Yes! I love the blessing of new days and new chances. They are beautiful!