Dear Parents, Please Keep Me Safe During My Teen Years

Dear Parents,

Please keep me safe.

These teen years are tricky: my thoughts and actions are all over the place.

But I need you to with love and discernment watch how I’m living my life and keep me safe.

I need you to talk to me about the impact my phone has on me. I need to hear that it isn’t good for anyone to constantly see curated pictures of beautiful people or engage with strangers through private messages or have no accountability on search engines. I need you to monitor my phone, sometimes take it away, and help me learn to use it in healthy ways so I’m the boss of it instead of it ruling me.

I need you to talk to me about the hard stuff because, I promise you, I know more than you think. Sex, body, relationships, porn, drugs, alcohol, abuse, and labels. Find ways to ask me questions and share your wisdom. I’ll resist, but I still need you to open the doors to those conversations and help me understand how my actions now can help me (or not) set up a fulfilling, stable future.

I need you to get to know my friends and see if I am being treated with respect and vice versa. I might need you to have a hard conversation with me about the people I hang out with. I’ll be mad about it, but I still need you to pursue teaching me what uplifting, life-giving friendships look like.

I need you to pay attention to my mental and physical health and take me to doctors or counselors. I’ll drag my feet but know I’m counting on you.

I need you to ask about where I’m going and with whom. When the red flag quivers in your heart, I need you to say no, even if I whine and call you hateful.

I need you to sometimes be the “bad guy,” There are times I need to use you as an excuse. “My parents will take away my phone for a month if I do this… I can’t. I’m out.” I’m relying on you to be my “out.”

But most of all, I need you to continually pursue me. Ask me questions. Really listen. Try not to overreact; instead, carefully respond so I feel heard and like I can tell you anything. Even when I reject you, keep coming after me, because I long to have a relationship with you.

See, you are my parents, and there’s no one in my life like you.

Other people won’t put in the effort, grit, and hard work it takes to raise a child. You know me better than anyone else. You also have been through these teen years full of curiosity and impulsiveness mixed with a deep desire to be mature and wise. You have experience.

So, please stick with me.

And keep me safe.

I need you now more than ever.

Love, Your Teen

One of the first steps to “keep my teens safe,” is to build a good relationship with them so they feel comfortable talking to you. These conversation starters can help.

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Your brain bounces between your day at work, what time(s) your kids need to be at practice, your teen’s missing school assignments, that you haven’t called your mom lately, the load of the laundry to be switched, “What’s for dinner?” and “Why are 3 of my brain-tabs frozen?”

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Cheryl Donely

Cheryl is a mom of 3 boys, wife, speaker, high school teacher, and author of Empowered Moms & Kids. She has a Master’s degree in Educational Leadership and is passionate about learning and teaching. On www.empoweredmomsandkids.com you’ll find inspiration and encouragement for moms raising tweens and/or teens. Read more in the “about” section of this page.