Know Your Child: One Way to Learn How Your Kid Feels Loved

(Inside: Know your child. Create a family connection by learning how your family members feel loved and how you can all love each other better. )

You dropped one kid off at voice lessons, picked another up from swim team and the third you wrangled through homework with a few tears…from you. Do you get stuck in the busyness of life and occasionally find yourself wondering: Do I really know these people I live with?

I asked my dad if he could go back in time and redo one aspect of parenting what would it be? He answered: “I would focus on getting to know my kids more.” (This is coming from a man who slayed fatherhood.)

His words ring in my ears.


I want to know my family. In these fleeting years when my kids are at home. I want to learn about what makes them tick, what their interests are, and how they feel loved. I want us all to learn this about each other.

I read Gary Chapman’s best-selling book The 5 Love Languages® and loved it. Then, I found the resources on his 5 Love Languages Website powerful. I wanted to use these tools to create family-connection by learning more about how my people feel loved. 

family at dinner table
Connect with your family over these 400+ conversation starters.

Here are the steps our family took to utilize the 5 Love Languages Website and build our family connection. (I explain what we did below, but we also I created a nice, lesson plan and worksheet for your family. My coworker – a teacher like me – did this with her family and love it!)

know your child
Grab the free Love-Languages Family Connection Activity HERE.

Better know your child and learn how your family feels loved lesson


Dinner is the magic hour for us – everyone likes to gather and eat.

However, perhaps because I’m the only female in my family, the conversation can be…well, hard to get going. (“Oldest son, how was your day?” *Fine.* “Middle son, tell me something funny that happened at school.” *I can’t think of anything.* Fifty questions later and I’ve finally sparked a conversation, but am too mentally exhausted to participate. Okay, kidding – I love words.)

I like that dinner means my family is trapped by hungry tummies and food, so their ears are all mine.


My husband and I asked our kids what they thought each love language meant, then went over the definitions after we heard their answers.

  • Word of Affirmation (You’re doing a great job, I like you…etc…)
  • Physical Touch (Hugs, snuggles…etc.)
  • Quality Time (Going to the movies together, a family basketball game…etc.)
  • Acts of Service (Someone making your lunch, doing your laundry…etc.)
  • Receiving Gifts (Picking up your favorite snack at the store, a birthday present…etc.)


During dinner, each person took the assessment on the 5 Love Languages Websites main page. (Click the big purple button that says, “Learn Your Love Language” and follow the prompts.)


1. Then, each family member recorded the order of their love languages on this worksheet.

2. Each person wrote down ways/acts/actions/words…etc…that make him/her feel loved. (Bonus, the back of this worksheet can be used to draw pictures for the speedy kid waiting on his/her siblings to finish. Mine choose to draw monsters with vicious teeth. See what your kids come up with as they are pondering love.)


Next, we brainstormed how our acts/actions/words make other family members feel loved and recorded it on our worksheet.


1. We started with our oldest son, and each family member shared what acts/actions/words we thought made him feel loved. (Kind of like a guessing game.)

2. Our oldest son then told us his love language and shared what actions made him feel loved.

3. Repeat for every family member.

know your child
Grab the free 5-Love Languages Family Activity HERE.

Friends, my non-sappy family members enjoyed this “get to know your child” activity.

We each learned something new about each other. But, what I didn’t expect is that it helped us all better understand the power of our everyday actions.

It specifically helped me better see how parents can daily strengthen connection: Taking time to tell one kid how proud you are of them for trying so hard at their voice lessons, words of affirmation – powerful. Vanilla shakes after swim practice, receiving gifts – powerful. Sitting next to your kid while he/she struggles with homework, quality time – powerful.

And getting to know our kids – priceless!

PS – Don’t forget to grab your free family connection activity here. 

Know your child better by reading the create family connection series

We all want to feel connected to our family. I know, I do. 

One of my favorite things to do with my family is to create family time. Yes, life gets busy, and no I don’t do this all perfectly (who actually does!?!), but it sure is fun to try. 

I hope you enjoy these family connection articles and ideas too…

Create Family Connection Series

Know Your Child: One Way to Learn How Your Kid Feels Loved

One Easy Way to Get to Know Your Kid
Parenting Tweens: Annoying Ways Tweens Show Their Parents They Love Them
7 Reasons Why Raising Tweens & Teens is the Best

Celebrating Real Love This Valentine’s Day With My Family

know your child
Grab the free 5-Love Languages Family Activity HERE.

Join this community of moms raising tweens and teens

You just dropped your kid off at practice, picked up another, and are trying to decide what to make for dinner. Your days are filled with work, parenting, and waiting for password reset emails.

You are parenting tweens and teens.

It’s an amazing life phase, but also challenging in unique ways. In it all, you’d love a little encouragement to help you laugh, grow in faith, see parenting hacks, get ideas to connect with your kid, and celebrate the awesome momma you are. 

I got you, friend. Sign up for Empowered Moms and Kids monthly emails and get encouragement in your inbox geared for someone exactly in your life chapter. It’s totally free and you can unsubscribe at any time. 

Plus, you’ll get instant access to all the great resources in the freebie library. Join our community below. 

gifts for moms