Moms Have a Weird Relationship with Perfect
(Inside: Perfect mom life – isn’t it what we all want? How moms have a weird relationship with perfect, and how this one realization can improve your happiness.)
Moms have a weird relationship with perfect.
We know we get this one shot at having kids in our homes, so, of course, we want to say/do the “right things,” create a positive experience for our children, and enjoy this season.
Yes, yes, our heads KNOW that it’s not going to be perfect, but our hearts THINK it just might be anyway.
We could possibly be the exception.
Because we REALLY love motherhood and maybe that will help us pull off “getting it all right.”
But this rose-colored thinking misses one big thing…
Yes, motherhood comes with so many beautiful moments where you think your heart might burst, but it also comes with dips and curves and stumbling and getting back up again.
Imperfect IS THE PARENTING EXPERIENCE.
You can’t avoid it. It’s the eggs in the cookie recipe. It’s the cream in the chicken wild rice soup recipe. It’s an ingredient that comes with parenting. For everyone.
In mom life…
We’re going to lose our cool when we wanted to be a great listener then say something wise.
We’re going to struggle with when to push our teens and when to pull back.
We’re going to question if we’re leading our family in the best direction.
But, in the imperfect parts of parenting, we reflect. We pray. We talk it out with trusted people. We read a helpful article. We go for a walk. We cling to hope. Then we continually come back together as a family and try to figure it out.
Our teens are going to sometimes not turn in that assignment.
Our teens are going to keep it together at school, then unravel their big emotions when they get home the debris ricocheting off our hearts like hail.
Our teens are going to fall for the peer pressure when we wanted them to stay strong.
But, in the imperfect parts of being a teenager, we listen. We remind them how loved they are and that God is working in their lives. We go back to our family values and share the “whys” of good choices. We hold them accountable so they mature. We give space and grace. We maybe seek professional help. We cling to hope. And we continually come back together as a family and try to figure it out.
The dog is going to chew up the soccer cleats right before the game.
The family’s going to forget the orthodontist appointment.
The house is going to get messy.
But, in the imperfect parts of living together, we revisit routines. We talk about needs and how we can help each other. We divide up tasks so that everyone is contributing. And we continually come back together as a family and try to figure it out.
Moms have a weird relationship with perfect: we know perfect is unattainable but wish for it anyway. But then as life rolls out, we find that…
Through the imperfect, we get to know each other on a deeper level.
Through the imperfect, we grow and mature.
Through the imperfect, we learn to persist and find hope.
Through the imperfect, we build a strong family
And maybe, shaping a family that continually comes back together to figure things out just is the perfect experience.
You won’t have the perfect mom experience (because imperfect is the only experience to have), but you can join our community of moms raising big kids.
You just dropped one kid off at practice, picked up another, and are trying to decide what to make for dinner. Your days are filled with work, parenting, and waiting for password reset emails.
You are parenting tweens and teens.
It’s an amazing life phase, but also challenging in unique ways. In it all, you’d love a little encouragement to help you laugh, grow in faith, see parenting hacks, get ideas to connect with your kids, and celebrate the awesome momma you are.
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The perfect mom doesn’t exist, but imperfectly thriving in motherhood is all around us and exquisitely beautiful. Read more stories in our “imperfectly thrive in motherhood” series.
Parenting is one of my biggest joys. I’ve always wanted to be a mom. From a young age, I prayed to have a family, and sometimes I pinch myself that my dream came true.
However, because this phase of life means so much to me, I can put too much pressure on myself to make the most of every moment, handle every situation flawlessly, and be the best mom ever. The truth is, I won’t do it all well and it’s not supposed to be that way.
One of God’s goals for me is to lean on him – to turn to him, to trust in him, to seek his guidance and favor in this motherhood experience. The dips and turns and messy in mom-life help me do that.
What a gift the imperfect can be. I do my best to try and articulate this idea in my imperfectly thrive in motherhood series. I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing.
Do You Need to Simplify Parenting? Collect Moments, Instead
Healthy Helicopter Parenting: A Story to Life You Up
Why Mom Mistakes Can Be Good
Parenting Regrets: 3 Truths About “I Wish I’d Parented Better.”
Cheryl is a mom of 3 boys, wife, speaker, high school teacher, and author of Empowered Moms & Kids. She has a Master’s degree in Educational Leadership and is passionate about learning and teaching. On www.empoweredmomsandkids.com you’ll find inspiration and encouragement for moms raising tweens and/or teens. Read more in the “about” section of this page.