(Inside: Perfectionist mom tendencies are so common. But, we don’t have to be perfect to be effective, and here’s how God sees us…)
Perfectionist mom in the thick of raising big kids, I want to talk about your always striving to do everything “just right.”
I want to ask you: Do you see yourself as I do?
Because the other day I saw you be so hard on yourself, and I wanted to straighten something out.
You might see a mom who just lost her cool with her kids, but I see a mom who was patient about a bazillion times up until that point.
You might see a mom who forgot about her son’s soccer tournament. (Phone rings. “Where is your son? We’re about to start the second game.” Long pause. *On a boat, fishing with our neighbors.* True story.) But I see a mom who’s gotten her kids to about a billion sports and activities.
You might see a mom grieved by how hard her relationship with her teen is. But I see a mom who keeps trying to connect and get to know her kid.
You might see a mom whose kid is struggling in school, finding quality friendships, or making positive choices. But I see a mom who’s helping her kid through the natural growing pains of maturity.
You might see a mom who wishes she was around more. But I see a mom trying to also share her gifts with the world. And also taking care of her family by paying the mortgage and, hopefully, having some money left over to take that vacation.
You might see a mom who is stretched so thin she is weary. But I see a mom who so beautifully gives herself to her family and absolutely without guilt deserves to ask for help, take a break, and practice self-care.
You might see a mom who grieves how fast the time is going. But I see a woman who has so much ahead in life to look forward to.
You might see a mom who wishes she could go back and redo a few things differently, but I also see a mom who is teaching her kids what it looks like to wade through the highs and lows of being human.
You see, I fearfully and wonderfully made you. I know the number of every hair on your head. I say to you, “Well done good and faithful servant.”
I see how hard you try.
I see what an awesome person you are.
And when it gets hard – and it will – come back to me. Over and over. I want to hear your thoughts. I want to help find solutions. I want to nourish you. Pray. Be in my word. Find your faith family.
You don’t need to be hard on yourself. I’m not – I’m proud of you.
Because no matter what you see, I always see you as my child.
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You just dropped your kid off at practice, picked up another, and are trying to decide what to make for dinner. Your days are filled with work, parenting, and waiting for password reset emails.
You are parenting big kids.
It’s an amazing life phase, but also challenging in unique ways. In it all, you’d love a little encouragement to help you laugh, grow in faith, see parenting hacks, get ideas to connect with your kid, and celebrate the awesome momma you are.
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Cheryl is a mom of 3 boys, wife, speaker, high school teacher, and author of Empowered Moms & Kids. She has a Master’s degree in Educational Leadership and is passionate about learning and teaching. On www.empoweredmomsandkids.com you’ll find inspiration and encouragement for moms raising tweens and/or teens. Read more in the “about” section of this page.