When Your Teen Suffers a Loss, Here’s One Important Thing to Do

(Inside: When your teen suffers a loss and it’s all out of your control, it’s hard to know what to do. But, this one big thing can help.)

My teen recently suffered a huge loss.

One of those big hurts that parents can do nothing about.

You know the kind…

A broken heart.
Being left out on purpose.
Feeling blindsided.
That huge goal that they’ve been burning the midnight oil for not happening. Door closed tight.

The kind of hurt that when you watch it fold in your child’s life, you suck in your breath while time moves like everyone’s wading in honey.

It’s awkward and gut-wrenching and completely out of your control.

So, as moms and dads, what do we do?

Honestly, when I first heard my teen’s tough news, I was at a loss. His hurt became my hurt, and my stomach stayed in pretzel form.

So, I cooked him dinner. The aroma of warm food seeped from the oven, and we all exhaled a smidge.

I kept myself available, simply hung out in the kitchen and living room area so he knew I was there to talk.

Then, I prayed with him before meals and bed, just to speak God’s love and truth over him as much as he’d let me.

I made sure I was home on time from work.

I invited him to run errands with me: Target, the gym, I was surprised at home much he said yes.

I asked him how he was doing. I pushed a little to get him to open up, and sometimes he did; and other times, I knew I needed to respect his need for space.

I baked cookies because melting chocolate moves us all a smidge toward healing.

I encouraged him to hang out with his friends, such good humans who get him.

I told him on repeat that I love him and am proud of him.

When our teen’s heart is ripped out and the daily struggle of healing begins, knowing what to do is challenging. But when I look back on my own epic seasons of struggle in my big-kid-years, what sustained me the most, what got me through my own various versions of loss…

Over and over again.

Was the stability of my parents.

Always my constant.
Always there.
Always speaking encouragement.
Always wanting me around.
Always available to talk and help me problem solve and find next steps.
Always reminding me how loved I was.

Sustaining me. Nourishing me. Pointing me to hope. Times a million.

Just focusing on the little things as time ticks on, I see my big kid gaining perspective and moving past his pain.

Parents, don’t ever underestimate the power of being there for your kids.
teen suffers a loss
I had a really tough time in my early twenties, read more about what my parents did to help in the description here.

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