(Inside: Teenage dating: what I told my son about girls that I hope prepares him to have healthy future dating relationships.)
“What did you do today at recess?” I asked my eight-year-old son.
“Played girl-chase-boy…” – he paused before continuing – “…except a girl never chased me.” My son looked down at his feet, shrugged his shoulders, and muttered, “So I went off and did something else.”
My heart quivered, then dropped to the floor.
Collecting myself, I responded…
“That’s okay. You don’t need girls to chase you. Instead, look around and notice the girls sitting on the side…”
“Notice the girl who’s taking it all in. She’s observing and learning and when she decides to make her move, she’s going to change the world. Or see the girl whose acts of kindness go unnoticed. The one who’s a friend to everyone. Or the girl who enjoys the simple things in life, her joyfulness makes the ordinary extraordinary. See the studious girl, whose knowledge makes great conversation. Or the girl who’s hilarious, she just has to get to know you before she shares her sense of humor…”
“There are so many beautiful, amazing girls out there who are not chasing the boys. They should be noticed. So be the type of boy who notices. Be someone who really gets to know people and appreciates them for who they are…”
“No, son, you don’t need lots of girls chasing you. Not when there are so many gems sitting on the sidelines.”
Okay, that’s not what I actually told him…
Because he’s eight, and he really just wanted some goldfish crackers.
But when we replay this type of conversation in a few years and girls do matter, I know what I’m going to say.
Be encouraged by reading the full “raising sons” series.
There is just something about raising all boys. Yes, you get “The Comments.”
“Are you going to try for your girl?” (That question was recently asked of me while my three teen/teenage boys towered next to me. *No, I think we’re calling it done. But you made my day by implying that I’m young enough to still have babies.*) Or, “Wow – you must be tired.” (*That was sure negative to say. Still…let’s be clear – I am.*)
But, there’s something so crazy-special about being surrounded by men who love their momma. These boys are my entire world; and even though this website is for moms raising tweens and teens (stemming from my love of teaching high school), I find I can’t help by sometimes writing about raising only sons.
Raising Sons Series
CONNECTING WITH YOUR SON
How to Get Your Quiet Tween/Teenage Son to Open Up to You
Teenage Dating: Simple Advice to Tell Our Sons About Girls
My Sons Don’t Listen: Actually, They are Taking In What We Teach
Easy Mom-Son Photo Ideas You Will Love
To the Mother of All Boys
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Your brain bounces between your day at work, what time(s) your kids need to be at practice, your teen’s missing school assignments, that you haven’t called your mom lately, the load of the laundry to be switched, “What’s for dinner?” and “Why are 3 of my brain-tabs frozen?”
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Cheryl is a mom of 3 boys, wife, speaker, high school teacher, and author of Empowered Moms & Kids. She has a Master’s degree in Educational Leadership and is passionate about learning and teaching. On www.empoweredmomsandkids.com you’ll find inspiration and encouragement for moms raising tweens and/or teens. Read more in the “about” section of this page.