Parenting is Hard: A Powerful Mindset to Help Moms Thrive

(Inside: Help to handle life’s frustrations.)

I had an “aha” moment about life at work.


I teach challenging high school students. These kids carry so much outside baggage; when they tell me their stories, I’m overwhelmed for them.

 

For my continuing education, I’ve been reading book-after-book on updated teaching strategies. The books are brimming with suggestions, expert advice, and thoughts on education. They outline from different angles how to create a more engaging classroom and how to reach and motivate every kind of student. It’s all good stuff, but do you know what sentence stopped me completely in my tracks and gave me the most encouragement?

 
“Remember that working with difficult students is frustrating.” –Quote from: Discipline with Dignity: New Challenges, New Solutions (Curwin, Mendler A., Mendler B.)
 

Whew. 


{Sigh of relief.}


I love my job, but there are moments when I’ve tried everything to motivate a student and nothing works. It’s discouraging.


But the above quote implies that frustrations are normal, expected and even okay.  It doesn’t mean that I need a whole new string of suggestions for better teaching and motivational strategies, I just need to know that frustrations are part of the job and carry on. Thank you very much.


I love that.


Because, when I hear something is supposed to sometimes be frustrating, I approach it differently.  I bring to the table extra patience and resilience and perseverance.  I expect to use those qualities, so I don’t let the frustrations so intensely rock my world. I can better set my emotions aside, evaluate a situation and more confidently move towards a solution. I can shrug off the discouragements I cannot control and shift my focus to how I am going to react, what I can control and with what kind of attitude.

 



Frustrations never have to steal away my professionalism, my personal joy, or my ability to love my job. Frustrations do not mean I have lost hope in the student and will quit trying; they just tell me that some days are frustrating and that is an expected part of being a teacher. I don’t always have to figure out the “why,” I just need to persevere and often, keep doing what I am doing.


Just like life.

 

Life is full of frustrations. No one is exempt from life’s cruelties. But, that doesn’t necessarily mean it is our fault. It doesn’t mean that we should always read a bunch of self-help books, or need a list of things to try differently. It does not mean we need to beat ourselves up for the things we cannot change. It does not mean that we should drive ourselves crazy by gripping tighter and trying to control what we can’t. It doesn’t mean that we always have to understand: “why is this happening to me” or “why do bad things even happen at all?”  Frustrations don’t have to steal away our joy. Discouragements do not mean that we aren’t good enough and they should not rob us of our self-worth.


Sometimes, all we need to do is remind ourselves that frustrations are normal.

 

We can let that thought ease our mind and help us not let the challenges so fiercely rock our world (or we let them rock our world for a while and then we recover). We dig deep and find extra patience and resilience and perseverance. We cling to God’s hope. We focus on our reaction to the situation, our attitude, and what we actually can control.

…carry on.

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Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

 

(This blog post contains affiliate links.)

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